I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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