Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
