This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
