im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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