I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
im holly from the hills drunk
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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