I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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