Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
