I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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