similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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