i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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