i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
