Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
