why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
