She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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