She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
