i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
