1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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