So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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