WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
