I faked an abortion last night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize