**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you would pick up someone in the library
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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