it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
