We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
