New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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