i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
