you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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