Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize