I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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