After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
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She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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