i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
