did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish you could order shots online.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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