just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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