I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
