Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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