So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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