It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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