I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
