Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
