I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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