i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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