Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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