I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
