i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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