Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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