good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize