just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
