if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize