And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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