...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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