Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
