I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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