We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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