pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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