I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
