Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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