Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
