Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
