Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
