So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
