covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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